Laughter & Tears

I'm going to give you a little of both. A typical day in my world contains the two. I'm not just talking about myself. There are, of course, the kiddos. Teenie weenie emotional roller coasters, in constant motion, keeping me on my toes. Going out on errands can be a trip, pun intended. When I have to take some or all of them out...I have to have a plan...and a s#!t load of patience.

The Plan: 

It takes me about an hour to get everyone ready to go somewhere. Therefore, whatever I am going to go and do had better be worth it. I have to really need something, want something, have to get out of the house, have specific people I want to see or whatever my reason may be. It is probably not going to be "just because." Not until the twins are a little older, at least.

Before I can go anywhere, I have to pack the diaper bag: diapers, wipes, pull ups, changes of clothes (at least one for each baby, depending on how long we will be out and maybe one for DJ too), bottles, formula, baby snacks, DJ's snack, a couple toys, blankets (depending on the season and weather), sippy cup, possibly child sized cutlery, Desitin, wallet, phone, sunglasses, keys, sometimes coupons/vouchers...and always Neno Bear (DJ's woobie). In the winter time...let's not forget hats, mittens, boots, jackets and snow pants for all!

Then I make sure all three little ones have clean butts and clean clothes on. I check on the dog and turn off all the lights. I may have to cover the giant stroller and bungee it on to the back of my Yukon. I bring the diaper bag and anything else we are taking along and load it into the truck. If I am home alone with the three little kids I corral one baby in the living room, bouncy chair, swing or somewhere else safe and carry the other baby to the car and then run back into the house as quickly as possible to grab the second baby and DJ. If my husband and/or my two teenagers are coming with, the getting into the car logistics are a little easier, but really it is just more people and more stuff. Away we go.

I also make sure to get as much into a trip as I can. The less total trips out of the house, the easier it is on me. A perfect example was three months ago. The babies were due for their six month check ups. I decided to make all of our family appointments for one day. Some might think this is crazy, but in my opinion it was so much better. We started out the day with five dentist appointments at eight o'clock in the morning. I had my husband go first so he could get to work as soon as possible...again, crazy, but the hard truth is we are a family of seven on one income. Daddy's gotta work. After the dentist, around ten o'clock, we went over to the pediatricians where the babies had well baby checks and my two older boys each had an appointment for something specific to each of them. We went out for lunch together after those appointments and then we had a little bit of time to kill so we ran into Walmart and the grocery store for a few things we needed. After all of that we went to the eye doctor where me and the two older boys had appointments at around three thirty or so. I believe we left there at five-ish. It ended up being a long day but I found it easier than doing it all in three or four different days. I have also been blessed with pretty well behaved children. Thank goodness. Pretty sure I ordered pizza that night, though. Who wants to cook after all that noise?

The Patience:

These pictures are from the babies nine month check ups, but it gives you a glimpse into what it can be like...

I gave up trying to get them to not tear up the paper roll within a few seconds. Ah well. As long as I kept them from rolling off the doctor's table, I was good. They can only wait patiently for so long. And most of you have been in a doctor's office...you can't see in these pictures, but my other three children are in the room, too. Think about it.

The Laughter:

I found a perfect example of the ridiculousness that can ensue while bringing multiple children out and into the world to go somewhere. This image is from www.ninjamomblog.com. I recently found her blog and I think she is great.

Image from: http://www.ninjamomblog.com/p/other-writing-and-pr-info.html#.UfLtCI1r2a9

Too true! I can't even begin to tell you. I laughed so hard when I saw this the first time. Thank you, NinjaMom!

I have also come up with a new way to decide who gets my grocery shopping business, if I have to bring all three little kids with me, now that the babies grew out of their car seats with carrying handles. I go to my favorite grocery store first, Cub Foods, and drive around their parking lot, checking in all the cart corrals until I find one of those shopping carts with the kid car on the front. Those carts have TWO baby seats with buckles in addition to the fun car. If they do not have one of those kinds of carts on the lot, I leave and drive to the next grocery store and drive around their lot. This is the only way to ensure maximum success and safety getting them all from my car and into the store. It hasn't happened yet, but if neither store had a cart like that available, I would either call it quits and go home, or if I really needed to, I could drive to yet another grocery store.

The Tears:

This is where it gets a little heavy. I am adding a link to a video I saw last night that someone had shared on Facebook. I sat in silence, with my headphones on, and watched it while tears trickled down my cheeks. I almost turned it off when I realized exactly where it was going but I decided to force myself to sit through it anyway. It is fake. It is portrayed by actors. It is not dramatized. In real life it happens too often and sometimes it is good to have a reminder. Watch at your own risk.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/19/kids-left-in-cars-psa_n_3623597.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Some days can be hard or stressful. There have been times when I am driving home from somewhere and think to myself. "Oh crap, we are out of milk." or that I really wished I had something or another. But if I am not willing to take every single child out of the car and in with me to a store or anywhere else, I am NOT going to go! Absolutely nothing in the whole wide world is worth the risk of leaving a child in a car. I don't care about the weather or the location or the circumstances. It can be such a pain in the ass to haul them all around but I just have to deal with that. I will never do it. And I probably won't ever watch this video again. My heart can't handle it.

The End:

Parenting is joy and sacrifice. Pleasure and pain. I take one day a step at a time. It's the best I can do.

Slowly But Surely

If I had it my way, I would be able to blog or write at least once each week. In an even more perfect world, multiple times. It feels good. I am one of those moms whose brain is almost constantly going a million miles a minute; I am sure many of you can relate. I find the purge to be quite therapeutic. I feel a sense of relief, release, accomplishment and contentment when I finish a post or a project of any sort. By "project" I mean more than just my writing. I can be a sort of "busy body". The babies are five and a half months old now. Since early in my pregnancy with them, around a year ago, my "projects" mostly fell by the wayside. I have not been able to do as much, volunteer as much and generally had to say no to or be advised not to do many "projects." I hate it. I haven't felt like myself and am ready to begin my journey back to real life.

My twelve year old son is in seventh grade and has landed a small part in the school play. I am so happy for him. He is so creative and acting is one of his many artistic talents. I also participated in as many school plays as possible during my younger days. This is not only going to be good for him, but for me as well. I like to help out at the schools. Fundraisers, on the other hand, I sort of hate. I understand the need for them but there are just so many, it gets old and money is not something I usually have a lot of. Time, I have had in the past, and that is how I chose to support the schools. Not being able to volunteer as much over the last year has been hard and I am ready to slowly begin again. I signed up to take a leadership role for the school play props. I think I am the only parent who asked to lead props, so I am fairly certain that they will pick me. I did explain to the director that I now have five children, I really do want to help with this, but I will need plenty of time and notice of what is needed for props. I did this same project for them once before and they only gave me two weeks notice total. That scenario would not work for me this time. I have learned since then that I should not be afraid to speak up and express my needs and concerns. My time is precious. I am willing to give it but I need to make sure that they are getting the best out of me in order to make the time worth spending and that I will make my children proud and know that they can count on me.

One of my brothers and his wife are having a baby in April. This will be their second child, first girl. I offered to throw her a baby shower and am quite happy to announce that she has accepted. She did have hesitations at first, though. She was worried that it would be too much for me because I obviously have my hands very full right now. I am grateful that she worried about me but at the same time it is really not necessary. Many people in my world do not know, nor can they fathom, what it is like to be me right now. I have five kids. It seems like a bigger deal than it truly is. This is my life now and I just have to keep going, one step at a time. There is no hiding from this. In order to stay sane, the best thing that I can do for myself is to get back into the game at my own pace. I'm getting better at it everyday. I am feeling more and more like my old self. Throwing this shower is going to be good for me too, and I told her so. I actually thanked her for allowing me to do it. I love to plan, host, decorate and help out. I did not have sisters when I was growing up and being able to do something like this for my Sister-in-Law means a lot to me. I also love being an Aunt and helping to celebrate the coming birth of another niece is so very special. It is the least that I can do. Not to mention, it is fun for me. Really fun. She might be helping me more than I am helping her, honestly. And lets not forget about the joys of being able to get out and socialize with adults, woo hoo. One more baby step forward, pun intended!

There are a couple other opportunities that I am considering, but I have to be choosy with my time. I need to make sure that the things I sign up to do are worthwhile on many different levels: the cause, the time away from home and/or the children, the need, the ability to involve others I would like to spend time with, could it help to cover the costs of possibly enriching activities for my children, etc. For example, the local athletic association is seeking a new concessions director volunteer. This tempts me but I have many questions for them that I am currently working on. I have never done this exact project before and do not have an experience to compare it to. So far, it seems like it might be a little too much for me at the moment, but I want to be 100% sure before I say yes or no. I know that I am completely capable of this position based on the job description; it is right up my alley of organizational talents. My issue is probably going to be more of a time restraint thing. Although, the cost of one son to play baseball this season is $160. If he were able to play for free or even at a discounted rate, it just might be worth it. We will see.

I am starting out small again...or smallish. I do hope to be able to help with the bigger projects again, as time goes on. When my older boys were younger, I started out by helping with classroom parties, counting box tops, donating food for the school's Staff Appreciation days and reading to the classrooms here and there. Over the years, I slowly worked my way up to the bigger opportunities like being the Craft Lady at week long summer camp, directing the elementary school play, Pinocchio, with 30 3rd through 5th graders, running the Scholastic Book Fair at the Middle School and even coaching 2 Destination Imagination teams for competition last Spring. These tasks fulfilled me and gave me blessed opportunities to spend more quality time with my boys. I want to get back into this. It will take some time but seeing as I have even more children now, I know plenty of situations will present themselves. Working from home by the end of this year will set me up for success in this area of my life, as well as others. (And volunteering is way more fun than doing the dishes...which is what I really should be doing right now...Sigh ;-)

A day in the life...

Most of my days are full. I could always use more time. Others have asked me, as I have asked myself, why don't I exercise, sing in a band anymore or go to hosted parties to buy random jewelry, kitchen products or purses? Why don't I go shopping for the groceries and get it all out of the way so I can have the weekend off? Why can't I be a bit more spontaneous? Truthfully, most days I feel like I do not have the time or even the energy. For example, today I have been going nonstop for over thirteen hours and I can not begin to imagine running off to the gym to sweat it all out or stand around singing for a couple hours trying to be creative and inspiring. I do not feel as though I would be social enough to go and sit around making small talk with a room full of mostly strangers in order to buy something that I may or may not end up using. On occasion, I will go out and do different things during the week but most of the time I am just not up for it. Don't get me wrong. I am not asking anyone not to invite me because I know that each day is a new one and there is always going to be hope. I am also not saying that I do not desire to go and do all of these interesting activities. That would be silly. I want to be fun and social. I want to enjoy time away from home doing things with peers and family. I'm just tired.

A typical day for me begins at 7:00 A.M. I get up, get dressed and do the normal morning hygiene routines. I make sure my boys are on track for the morning. I see that they made a balanced bag lunch, that the necessary school items are being set by the front door and make sure that their teeth, hair and clothes are presentable enough and weather appropriate. I make sure our three pets had potty breaks and breakfast, too. I get the toddler out of bed and ready to go off to daycare. We are usually out the door between 7:50 A.M. and 8:00 A.M. My oldest usually walks to school and my middle child rides along with me to the daycare so we can drop off my sweet baby girl. Once at daycare, I pick up the daycare lady's son, who happens to be my eleven year old's best friend, and swing them by their school on my way to work where I clock in at 8:15 A.M.

I work a full eight hours with a half hour lunch break. I haven't had much down time at work since last May. I keep very busy, which is good. Sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe, though. Remember, I'm working on the whole "stress" thing. My lunch breaks are usually spent keeping up with my personal life organization. I pay bills online, check grades for the boys, make any calls or e-mails to who ever I may need to on any given day, like the vet or the squirrel removal people (don't ask). I make all the family medical appointments, fill out any forms or paperwork we may need done and anything and everything else I may need to do that I can squeeze into thirty minutes while eating something at the same time. Also, for the next few months I am actually leaving work two hours early on Thursdays to volunteer at my sons' school as their Destination Imagination coach. I am coaching two teams totaling seven kids.

After work I usually pick up the little one from daycare on my way home. Most of the time she is very happy to see me, but if she is in a cranky mood she is not. I get home between 5:00 P.M. and 5:10 P.M. Once in the front door I am greeted with three much needed hugs from the male members of my household. That is one of the highlights of my daily life. I also get to feel like Snow White as the animals come up to get their turns, too. I may or may not have to scold a son for not doing the chore they were assigned. I usually have to walk around and pick up miscellaneous items that have been left all over during the previous twenty four hours and get them near their proper places while making my way to my room in order to change into my comfortable clothes. Once I am changed it is time to cook dinner for the family. I do not always know what's for dinner, I make a lot of things up. I enjoy cooking most of the time. I find it very therapeutic and it feels so good to sit at the table with my loved ones and have a meal together while talking about our day. Although, there are days, every once in a while, when I just need to order a pizza.

After dinner we all clean up. There may be homework, projects, bubble baths, play time, etc. My baby girl is off to bed between 7:00 P.M. and 8:00 P.M. My boys have reading time in bed from 9:30 P.M. and 10:00 P.M. and then it is "lights out." By this time I am beat. I am lucky if I have the energy to squeeze in some bonding time with my husband. We may sit back to watch a show or movie, sit around and talk for a while or enjoy other things that married couples do. (wink) Some days I just want to curl up in my warm comfy bed and read a book until I fall asleep. Sigh.

I was joking with a girlfriend the other day. You know the shows on television that have to do with "Real Housewives of Whatever County"? I think we should have our own show about "The Real Housewives of Anoka County". It would probably be a very boring show. We all like each other, we don't back-stab one another, we live normal lives and have nice children. Our spouses are decent men and our jobs are real work. I don't think a network in the world would take the risk because our ratings would be so low. There is no drama or glamour, no money or fame. This is all in jest, of course, but I thought it was pretty funny. Who would want to sit around and watch me be me for an hour while I chill on my couch and blog. Ha! Because honestly, that is all I have the energy for tonight.

Another Hurricane Christmas

You know it is coming. You have time to prepare. Still the torrent of wrapping paper, clouds of powdered sugar and cinnamon and endless swarms of e-mails, cards, texts and visits just sneek up behind you. And I am beat. Worth all of the trouble? Yes. Would I do it all again? Absolutely. Am I tired? Um, yeah.

Christmas in my world can get sort of complicated. Between me and my husband, we have four pairs of parents that we need to coordinate with during the holidays. Four of my five brothers and I also squeeze in a Christmas cookie baking day with our children, ten little cousins in all. We did this on the 11th of December. One of my brothers lives in Japan and therefore can't make it to all of these events. In the midst of all this holiday madness, I somehow found time to make homemade cards, bake cookies for charity, begin coaching my sons' Destination Imagination team at school, look for my beautiful six year old cat who went missing when a window blew open while we were not home, take on new projects at work, go out a couple of times with some girlfriends and try to keep up with my daily life. No wonder I worry that I'm developing a case of shingles. Ha!

 This season we went to my father's house first, on the 19th of December. There we enjoyed a delicious Cuban food dinner with three of my brothers and their families along with a couple of my father's wife's children and their families too. Christmas Eve was spent at my husband's mother's house. We celebrated with her, her husband and my husband's Great Aunt from his father's side of the family...a long story for another time. We were treated to an amazing prime rib dinner and our three children began the whirlwind of presents that come their way each year. The presents part can be tricky, too. Teaching the children to be grateful and not greedy. Polite and respectful. To not be expecting anything and be pleasantly surprised when there is something. When it just keeps coming from so many directions year after year after year, it can be quite a task. I feel like I am doing a good job keeping things in perspective for them. There is always going to be a little self-doubt though, I think. Time will tell.

One condition of spending Christmas Eve away from my own home is that I want to be home with my children by no later than 7:00 P.M. Over the years I have met some resistance from family members but I have tried to stay strong and stand my ground. I am in no way trying to be rude or disrespectful. I can not control how I am interpreted. As a mother, a lover of tradition and a wife, it is important to me to have the wind down time with my children and husband. We do the whole thing: cookies and milk set out for Santa right next to a carrot for the reindeer, read The Night Before Christmas together cuddled up on the couch, look out the window to see if Santa is up in the sky yet, perhaps with a little red light that may be Rudolph's nose. It is precious time. It can not be replaced or redone. I will not compromise much. It is our turn, my husband and I, to build these memories and traditions with our children. Our parents were allowed to do so when we were little and now it is our time.

And that is exactly what we did. It was adorable. We will never forget it.

Christmas morning started out quite early. My eleven year old actually set his alarm for 5:30 A.M. and my thirteen year old didn't stop him. They share a room, you see. We do have a rule that they can't come downstairs before 6:00 A.M. and that is what time I heard the boys come thundering down. I, of course, knew they had huge stockings to keep them busy, so I let myself sleep one more hour. Then, I gently nudged my hubby to let him know we had to get out of bed so we could wake up the two year old together. She woke up very happy. One pot of coffee later, we were done opening our presents and sat around and played. I made french toast and scrambled eggs. This leads us up to the hardest part of my Christmas schedule. The custody kind. My two boys always have the switch between their father and I at 11:00 A.M. on Christmas morning. We alternate every other year who gets the Eve and who gets the Day. Just one of those many things that happen as a result of a relationship gone south and children are involved. One of the forever consequences.

Once the boys left, the three of us had to get ready to go. Our first stop of the day being just over a half hour away to visit my husband's father and his long time girlfriend. The ride there did not go so well since our two year old had a bout of car sickness and made a little bit of a mess. It was sad to see but we eventually made it and were able to do a load of laundry, including the car seat cover and straps. A couple hours later, with bellies full of warm chili and homemade bread, we were off to the next stop. Another half hour drive brought us to my Mom's doorstep where she and her partner were hosting an Italian feast.  My brothers and their families were there too. Very busy home and really delicious food. It was a good day but by 6:30 P.M. our daughter had had quite enough stimulation for one day and needed to get home. So that is where we took her, straight home. Straight to bed.

Whew! A movie on the couch snuggling with my Love and we called it a night. Wake up bright and early the next day and head off to work for my average Monday. The hurricane has passed...for now.