My Short Hair Journey of 2014

2014 was the year that I finally had the courage to just go for it. I mean, I had already died my long lovely locks permanent black over a year before because I was very committed to my 2013 Halloween costume...Morticia Addams. If there was ever going to be a "good time" to try out short hair, this was it. After about twenty five years with a similar long hairstyle and at least a whole year of thinking about cutting it all off, it was time to put up or shut up.

I decided I didn't want to shut up. I wanted to do something. I needed...something. Looking back I know now why I did it. It came to me about halfway through this journey. I am always saying no. I am always sacrificing myself for my children and for others...as mothers and many caretakers by nature do. I would not change this about myself ever but I still felt like I had no control, in a way, over anything anymore. Life was getting too heavy and the weight of it was hurting me. By cutting off my hair I was able to feel a kind of freedom that I hadn't had in a very long time. It was almost as if I was being slowly renewed all year long.

Now, I love long hair. It just feels right. When I picture myself for any reason ever...I have long hair. I know down to my core that I will have long white hair when I am an old lady. It is the only way that I can imagine it. But, I have always enjoyed living vicariously through others short hair dos. Other women made it look so cute and effortless. I always thought that with my face shape I would be crazy to try anything too short or drastic with my own hair. But, short hair just looked so darn fun. And if I wanted long hair again someday I should probably hurry up and get it over with so that I would have plenty of time to grow it all back out nice when I'm done playing with it, right?

January 2014

So, here I am, early 2014. My favorite way to wear my hair was a large messy braid to the side just a little. I miss being able to do this so much. I will have it back...but not black. I got that hair color out of my system. Enjoyed it very much though. Made me feel just a little bit more bad ass.

February 28th, 2014

Here is one more just for fun. I like how it was shiny silky straight in this one. Went almost to my chair when I sat. Rockin' the look for my hubby's band gig at Whiskey Junction. 

March 25th, 2014

March 25th, on a Tuesday night, I grabbed a good friend, we went for a shot of liquid courage and then to my (gasp!) hair appointment.

March 25th, 2014

Not that long after...Eek! Enough to donate even. It felt so different and so light. Within one day I could already feel a difference in my neck muscles. A pleasant but unplanned surprise. (And don't look now...But Holy Roots Batman!)

May 2014

About two months later I had my second haircut, about the length to my chin. Went a tiny bit shorter than the first time, which brushed my shoulders. I decided in the beginning to take this whole process as slow as I needed to. I wanted the full experience of short hair but I also didn't want to regret anything and be depressed about my appearance. I mean, come on, as a mother who has birthed five children, there is plenty to be physically unhappy about. I don't need to add my hair to the list. Ha! This second haircut was actually my favorite one from the whole year. It felt closer to the real me compared to all of the other ones...not including my long hair, of course.

August 6th, 2014

I had come that far...and felt braver still. Why not go crazy and expose the back of my neck to the world? This haircut felt fun... and sassy. It only looked this cute for a couple of days though. The amount of time the stylist took in order to make my hair look this good was a little disturbing. I barely have time to brush my teeth every day. There is no way I could keep up with this for any length of time. Seriously. Before this whole short hair escapade my hair maintenance routine was basically to wash it every three days or so and brushing it out after it had dried. Then, keeping the knots and snarls down to a minimum to achieve maximum sexy rock star bed head hair. But, mostly just pulled back in a ponytail or bun because, you know, kids n' stuff.

September 27th, 2014

Now, I was on a roll and feeling rather unstoppable so...bleach blonde happened. Yay! And then I shaved the left side off during the cancer charity benefit I hosted last September for sweet Ashlyne. I am glad that I had already begun my short hair journey by this time because I was able to show my support in this way but also know that if I had still had my long hair, I most likely wouldn't have had the guts to do it for her. Now I had the guts.

October 20th, 2014

Years ago I NEVER would have imagined I would EVER have hair short enough to slick back sexy like Jaime Lee Curtis...but, there I was, getting all dolled up for the Pearl Jam concert with my hubby and thought, "Here's my chance!" I felt like a different woman. And by this time it wasn't just on the outside, but on the inside as well. I had a confidence again. I was getting my groove back. And, I was still so angry with 2014 but, felt like I might just be able to go out kicking. I was...Alive.

November 15th, 2014

Then, November rolled around. The shaved side was starting to grow out a little unevenly and the holidays were right around the corner so...I got one last haircut. One last short do to get me through. Brought the sides closer to a similar length in the hopes that the growing it all back out process goes smoothly. So, there it is.

My journey is complete and I am pleased with the results...not the physical hair results but rather what I gained in knowledge about myself, my strength, my drive. I was not expecting that at all. But what do ya' know? Here I am. A little wiser.

Today January 20th, 2015

"Alive"

By: Pearl Jam

"Son," she said, "Have I got a little story for you

What you thought was your Daddy was nothin' but a

While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen

Your real Daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him but I'm glad we talked"

Oh I, oh, I'm still alive

Hey, I, oh, I'm still alive

Hey I, oh, I'm still alive

Hey, oh

Oh, she walks slowly, across a young man's room

She said, "I'm ready for you"

"I can't remember anything to this very day 'cept the look, the look

Oh, you know where, now I can't see, I just stare"

I'm still alive

Hey I, but, I'm still alive

Hey I, boy, I'm still alive

Hey I, I, I'm still alive, yeah

Ooh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh

"Is something wrong?", she said

Well of course there is, "you're still alive," she said

Oh, and do I deserve to be?

Is that the question? And if so, if so, who answers, who answers?

I, oh, I'm still alive

Hey I, oh, I'm still alive

Hey I, oh I'm still alive

Hey I, oh I'm still alive

Who's the Parent?!

I am. Not the media. Not the school. Not Disney or any other children's programming company. I am the parent. I take full responsibility for what goes into my childrens' brains. From what they see on the television to what they hear on the radio; the words I say and the things that I do. I am the example and the person who should help them interpret and understand the world around them as they grow. I am the one who is their advocate through constant vigilance. Does it get tiring? Of course it does. Is it hard to say no sometimes? Yes it is. As a parent, there is no other choice. Anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves, at the expense of the children.

http://movies.yahoo.com/blogs/movie-talk/merida-disney-princess-controversial-makeover-brave-heroine-really-224924634.html

I'm OK if this ruffles some feathers. So be it. I own my beliefs and opinions. I hope this is a trait that rubs off onto my children. This story in the news recently regarding the controversy of a new appearance for Merida, the princess from the Disney movie Brave, pissed me off. My gut reaction to her new look...who cares? Disney created her and they can do whatever they want to her image. My daughter is three years old and adores the movie Brave. She thinks that Merida is the Bee's Knees. She has already watched the movie more times than I can count and I am sure she will watch it many more. Will Merida's new image damage my young daughter's self esteem. Absolutely not. Why, you ask? Because I won't allow it. I am always willing to talk with my children about any topic and I will keep the conversation age appropriate. If we see a poster or a toy in the store with the new Merida, and my daughter notices or even cares, we will have a talk about it. That's my job.

To me, the comparison pictures look like Merida grew up. Before, she was a brave, confident, opinionated and active teenager. Awkward and beautiful. The after picture is as if Merida is all grown up. She looks like the queen she was destined to be. She had supportive parents that raised her right. She appears to have grown out of her gangley teen aged body and blossomed into a lovely woman. Why should this damage my daughter and her image of herself? If I were to sit around my house and say aloud how awful this new image is, how damaging it is, how against it I am, how Disney is giving off the wrong impression, my daughter would hear those words and like the little sponge that she is, take them as her own because I am her mother and as a child she respects what I have to say. She looks up to me and I won't take that for granted.

If an opportunity presents itself where I have to give little DJ my two cents on Merida's new picture, I will choose my words wisely. I may say things like "Merida has a pretty new dress" or "she is all grown up now". Maybe I could say "Merida is trying out a new conditioner and her hair looks shiny and full." It could be any number of things that come out of my mouth but I guarantee you that they will be positive words. Why shouldn't they be?

If the people out there hate Merida's before and after picture, than what would they say about me. Most days I sit around in my jammies or comfy house clothes. I rarely put on make-up and admittedly walk around with knots in my hair because I am too busy taking care of the house and the kids. My legs are stubbly because I haven't been able to shave in a while. But you better believe when I get an opportunity to go out with my girlfriends or on a date with my husband, I get all dolled up. I take a shower and wear perfume. I put on my make up and jewelry. I wear fun clothes, fancy clothes, maybe even sexy clothes. How dare I! I am my daughter's example of how a girl or a woman should appear. What I do personally is going to effect my daughter more than some cartoon will. That is the way it should be. I will not be ashamed, nor will I let my daughter be so, when I get dressed up or "better looking." My children love me and respect me no matter what I look like. That is how they will see the world because that is what I, as their parent, represent.

If I don't like or agree with something, than it is my job to make sure it doesn't enter my childrens' world. It is up to me how I express myself to my children. My daughter watched an episode of Baby Bratz about six months ago on Netflix. One episode was plenty for me and she knows that they are no longer welcome in our home. At her age, she does not understand why she can't watch that specific cartoon but she does know that it is a rule of mine. As she gets older, if she still wonders, I will have no problem telling her my reasoning. I could tell her now but at three years old she has no idea what "sexy" means and it would be pointless to try and make her understand. I told my daughter that I do not like that cartoon and that I thought it was inappropriate for her. Baby Bratz disturbed me because the little girl characters, still in diapers, were dressing up "sexy" on purpose. They put on elaborate make-up, wore tiny little shirts that exposed their belly buttons and walked in a way that flaunted their sexy little baby butts, complete with sultry leg poses. This was wrong on so many levels in my eyes and I chose to eliminate the cartoon from my home. I am not writing nasty letters to whoever created them. They are allowed to make what they want to. It is my right not to let my kids watch it and that is where it ends.

image is from http://games.softpedia.com

Not only is it my job to keep what I do not approve of out of my home, it is also up to me to make sure the other people in my childrens' lives know my wishes. A perfect example happened last Fall when my Mom and her partner took my oldest son out for his birthday present. They took him out for dinner, to the chocolate shop and then to the store to buy a new video game. My son was asking for games that my Mom was not 100% sure of. She was respectful enough to call me and my husband and ask permission. There are thousands of games out there and it is impossible to know about ever single one. It was not the most convenient time, but my husband and I took the time to step over to the computer and look up the video games in question. One was a definite 'no' because it contained 'rape' in the description. One of the games we could not find anything on at that particular moment so it was a 'no' until further investigation. I explained to my son that if he really wanted that particular game, he would have to take a rain check until we could get a better description. He, being fourteen years old, wanted his present right away and ended up picking one that could be a 'yes' right away. He understood and respected our decision even though he did not agree with or like it. He did question me later about the game that contained 'rape' in the description and I explained to him that I felt that playing a video game containing 'rape' was not necessary, that there are many other video games available that do not contain that subject matter and also that I know he is responsible and would never do anything like that but it still didn't need to be in our home at the time. He was fine. I say 'no' and my kids accept it. We are consistent and reasonable parents.

I can not be everywhere, all of the time. I am open with my children and they know where I stand. I ask questions and stay involved. If I am concerned with what will be done or watched somewhere when I can not be with them, I am not afraid to talk to the other parents or adults in charge. I am not afraid to tell my kids 'no' and explain myself when I do. They will continue to grow into confident individuals and respect me all the while. They are being raised by me, not MTV. They will not find their self worth from the media or the like. They get that from home.

Not only is it my job to keep what I do not approve of out of my home, it is also up to me to make sure the other people in my childrens' lives know my wishes. A perfect example happened last Fall when my Mom and her partner took my oldest son out for his birthday present. They took him out for dinner, to the chocolate shop and then to the store to buy a new video game. My son was asking for games that my Mom was not 100% sure of. She was respectful enough to call me and my husband and ask permission. There are thousands of games out there and it is impossible to know about ever single one. It was not the most convenient time, but my husband and I took the time to step over to the computer and look up the video games in question. One was a definite 'no' because it contained 'rape' in the description. One of the games we could not find anything on at that particular moment so it was a 'no' until further investigation. I explained to my son that if he really wanted that particular game, he would have to take a rain check until we could get a better description. He, being fourteen years old, wanted his present right away and ended up picking one that could be a 'yes' right away. He understood and respected our decision even though he did not agree with or like it. He did question me later about the game that contained 'rape' in the description and I explained to him that I felt that playing a video game containing 'rape' was not necessary, that there are many other video games available that do not contain that subject matter and also that I know he is responsible and would never do anything like that but it still didn't need to be in our home at the time. He was fine. I say 'no' and my kids accept it. We are consistent and reasonable parents.