"Just because I am awesome doesn't mean that I want to be awesome all of the time." - me
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| Image from: http://smartwomanonline.com/feature/2008/02/multitasking-run-amok/3/ |
I have been in a bit of a funk. I have so many things that I need to accomplish but don't have the motivation to do them. I found this piece of art online today and it looks just like I feel...
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| Image from: http://society6.com/LindseyPuddles/In-a-Funk_Print |
A fellow blogger, and old high school classmate, wrote a post recently that I related to almost exactly. The biggest difference is that she works and I don't, but other than that I know what she is feeling with my whole heart. It is titled Balancing Act and here is a link: http://beckyberry217.blogspot.com/2013/07/balancing-act.html
I feel completely alone and surrounded by people at the same time. I feel like I am strong enough to do anything but can't get myself up and moving to start. I feel extreme happiness for everything I have been blessed with in my life and that I have also become lost along the way. Some days I feel like I may have actually reached Super Mom status and then the next day I feel like the biggest raging B-word to have ever walked the planet and then feel sorry for my children because they deserve better than I gave. I feel like a walking contradiction.
I am obviously a little depressed. It has happened before and it will happen again. I'm not a doctor but I know that I do not need medication. I just need time. Pills won't make my kids leave me in peace for a bit while I clean a bathroom. Pills won't make my house in a condition to sell. Pills won't make my papers file themselves. I just need time. Luckily I am ridiculously patient, sometimes to a fault. Someday the picture that represents how I feel will look a little more like this...
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| Image from: http://antiworldnews.wordpress.com/2012/01/04/1-happiness-habits-for-busy-people/ |
"Meet Virginia"
By: Train
She doesn't own a dress
Her hair is always a mess,
You catch her stealin' she won't confess
She's Beautiful.
Smokes a pack a day, but wait,
That's me, but anyway
She doesn't care a thing
About that hair,
She thinks I'm beautiful
Meet Virginia
She never compromises,
Loves babies and surprises,
wears high heels when
she exercises
Ain't it beautiful
Meet Virginia
Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the Queen"
Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carburetors
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
just like me hates to be alone
we just like to sit at home
and rip on the President
Meet Virginia, Mmmm...
Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back, as she screams
"I don't really wanna live this life"
She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition magic And the shape of her body?
Unusual
Meet Virgina I can't wait to
Meet Virginia, yeah e yeah hey hey hey
Well she wants to be the queen and
then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this
Her hair is always a mess,
You catch her stealin' she won't confess
She's Beautiful.
Smokes a pack a day, but wait,
That's me, but anyway
She doesn't care a thing
About that hair,
She thinks I'm beautiful
Meet Virginia
She never compromises,
Loves babies and surprises,
wears high heels when
she exercises
Ain't it beautiful
Meet Virginia
Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the Queen"
Daddy wrestles alligators
Mama works on carburetors
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president
And here she is again on the phone
just like me hates to be alone
we just like to sit at home
and rip on the President
Meet Virginia, Mmmm...
Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back, as she screams
"I don't really wanna live this life"
She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition magic And the shape of her body?
Unusual
Meet Virgina I can't wait to
Meet Virginia, yeah e yeah hey hey hey
Well she wants to be the queen and
then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen"
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this
I can completely relate. The balancing act of motherhood is so hard sometimes. I've written so many posts on this disaster that balancing it all is sometimes. I recently wrote http://mommybloggerdirectory.com/content/mom-fails-multitasking for a blog directory but have several posts in my popular posts tab on my site Time with A & N ( http://glennbabies.blogspot.com )on this issue. Hope you can check them out and be reassured you are not alone!
ReplyDeleteRYC: I have this long list of movies I want to see on Netflix, Redbox, etc - things that I missed out on seeing when they were current, and others that just sounded interesting!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I am SO BAD at Google+..haha...I had the hardest time trying to figure out how to reply to you! It would take me to your google+ account when I clicked on your name and I had to click around on things til I finally found your blog. I swear Google makes things more complicated than it needs to sometimes!! :) I can't remember exactly how it's done right now, but if you go into your profile settings you can add an email address for response comments, and then people can reply right from their email - makes it super easy! :)
Aha! I think I figured it out. If you go to your blogger dashboard, then at the top right where it has your name, click on Blogger Profile. Click on Edit Profile, and then put your email into where it says Email Address. Then it'll tie your email to all of the comments you leave, and people can then respond right to them! :)
And about your post - I TOTALLY understand! I have been depressed here and there throughout motherhood (being a stay at home mom especially can be very isolating and limiting and it makes things a lot worse!), and this particular pregnancy has been VERY hard for me emotionally. We all get there, and I think your frame of mind is a good one to have. "This too shall pass", right? :)