Putting it Out There...

Is a little scary. I am including a video of my attempt today at practicing a song on my guitar while singing. This is a big step for me. Put me in a room with hundreds or thousands of strangers and I can sing without hesitation. Put me in a room, one on one, with my husband or someone else who's opinion of me that I really care about...and I clam up. Silly, I know. One of my many faults that I am slowly working on. This post is one of my baby steps at fixing this.

Music used to be a huge part of my life. There was a time, long ago, where all I pictured for my future was to be a professional musician. Then, life happened and this is one of my Tangerine Dreams that got pushed to the side. For the past many years, a girls night out to a bar for karaoke was one of my only singing outlets. Very fun but definitely not the same thing. I have also had an open invitation to play with my husband and his band(s) over the years. It is hard though, with kids, to find the time and the energy to add even just one more thing, sometimes. To justify paying a sitter so I can go along or even feeling motivated to be creative after all the kids are tucked in and asleep and a long day is behind me. Some think these are silly or even stupid excuses and they are entitled to their opinions. As am I.

After Christmas last year, my husband saw me goofing off on my computer, looking at Ovation acoustic guitars. My personal favorites. When I was ten years old and began taking guitar lessons for the first time, I used my Dad's Ovation to play on until I received my own brand new guitar for Christmas when I was eleven. A Fender Strat, white, I still have it. I love the feel of an Ovation and it also has great memories for me, very nostalgic. I remember, as a small girl, sitting next to my Dad and listening to him play for hours. That is one of my happy places in this life. So, when I started thinking about getting a new guitar, Ovation is where I gravitated to, my comfort zone. As soon as my husband saw what I was doing, he insisted that I get one. I already had my favorite picked out, but I was truly just wishing and window shop drooling for fun. I didn't really think I would get one. His enthusiasm was contagious and we bought it online that night. Her name is "Veda" (the guitar). This is a My Girl movie reference, in case you were wondering, and it just seemed fitting to me.

Isn't she beautiful? And there is Z, on my lap, because he wouldn't leave me alone long enough to try her out. Kinda cute though.

And there is my biggest problem. Finding time, undisturbed, to play, practice, write, memorize, think and make music. My ultimate goal is to learn a handful of songs and play them well enough to show my face at a local open mic night. I have no idea when this will be possible but I'll get there. I have even begun trying to write my own songs again, which I haven't done since, sadly, high school.

This video is a great glimpse into my attempts to practice here and there. The babies are in their highchairs for lunch, which is an opportune time since they would usually be grabbing, smacking and banging toys into my guitar while I try to play. They love it. It is adorable, but really not good for my gorgeous cherry burst finish. DJ is wandering around dancing, trying to talk to me and show me things and then begins banging around the baby gate off screen. Pretty typical. I push through!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrKpUxfWb_w

(Here is the link to my YouTube video. Having technical issues trying to upload it directly to my blog. Apologies.)

Anyway, there it is. I put it out there. Eek! Just my way of staying on track in order to reach my dream. Taking myself out of my comfort zone and laying it all out there for anyone to see. Hopefully I will get more time to practice and find my way. Thanks for stopping by. You stay classy, San Diego.